"But the doorway is suddenly blocked by the figure of an immense black bull. The bull begins to ring, like a telephone." --Donald Barthelme

My Photo
Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

she wrote what, now?

Wednesday, September 29, 2004


As to please the blogger gods, for slacking and totally drunkenly forgetting about the Tuesday Five, i would like to share something that struck me as very odd today.

Tom walked up and propped his foot on my chair and i noticed the band-aid protecting a blister on his heel was half off and dangling. He pulled open a drawer and removed a purple glue stick, opened it up, and glued the loose half of the band-aid back to his foot. He capped the glue stick and replaced it in the drawer before ambeling away.

This is my life.

Monday, September 20, 2004

i blame pier

i was innocently sitting at my computer, reading how utterly calm pier has been in his eruption at mayakovsky for making a very small comment in a very large argument, munching on raspberries when i feel something firm between my teeth.

i think, what the fuck, and spit it out. and, lo and behold, i found one of these bitten in half now laying on the floor next to my chair:

excuse me, i had to go brush my teeth and rinse my mouth out with scaldingly hot water.

now, what if i have some kind of flesh eating disease from this repulsive pest? what plague of ill fortune has come about from this interaction?
pier, are you prepared to deal with the responsibility for the horribly debilitating and eventually fatal disease i have now contracted?

god only knows what will happen now. everyone watch what you eat.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

streetcar named punch-in-the-face

So, i'm heading off to work this morning looking like Tom punched me several times in the face as he decided it would be "fun" to watch Streetcar Named Desire last night at midnight. I'd never seen it, and had been wanting to for about a year. And when it started i took one look at Marlon and thought, "Shit, now i'm going to have to re-write my list."

Of course, that changed by the end, the end when i had been crying for a solid hour and a half. And, given, i am a crier. I don't know why i have these slutty tear ducts that will turn on for shit my mind rejects as total crap (think sappy commercials, people, its that bad). Call me sensitive, whatever, but very few movies have effected me like this. I was almost killed by Blanche DuBois. I swear she broke my heart. When it was over Tom said, "Wow, that's real acting," then he turned to me and said, "you haven't cried like that since Out of Africa," which made me compare the two. I was forced to decide, even though it is a damn shame when Robert Redford dies in Africa, i felt destroyed by Streetcar.

So now everyone at work will think that Tom's living up to his handlebar and knockin' me around a bit, or that i'm on drugs. Fantastic.

Friday, September 17, 2004

if i had five wishes...

one: colin firth in a&e's pride and prejudice

or bridget jones' diary or girl with a pearl earring, its all the same character. and i love, love them all. damn his tortured, misunderstood, sexy ass.

two: johnny depp in edward scissorhands

this is the only time i have wanted to be winona ryder. ever. ok, besides in bram stoker's dracula. oh yeah, gary oldman in that role. he has to be first runner up.

three: cary grant in philadelphia story

of course, my lust for ck dexter haven is only equalled by my utter devotion to tracy lord.

four: gene wilder in willy wonka & the chocolate factory

i'm sorry if i cannot explain. i don't feel its necessary.

five: val kilmer in willow

since i was ten, madmartigan has been my fucking ideal. when i die heaven will be me trapped in that cage with him and willow will never wander up to let us out and give us the baby and shit.

whoa, this is getting kind of heavy. or maybe i should blog every once in a while without being very drunk. whatever.

Monday, September 06, 2004

daisy lemon

tom and i got a little drunk last night and got it into our heads that we had to see the brown bunny as soon as possible. so we saw it. my reaction was as follows:

1. laugh
2. fall 1/2 asleep
3. gape in astonishment
4. cry an embarassing amount in public
5. obsess on talking about it for the next six hours (given it wasn't the next six Days, but, still)

i really enjoyed it. i totally understand a lot of the criticism, and i'm sure with the original additional 26 minutes it was bogged down and ridiculous, but i thought it was a lovely, well done film that managed to completely knock me flat at the end.

i'm hesitant to discuss the film in detail as i'm sure everyone hasn't yet been able to see it, but i do reccommend it. and i would enjoy discussing some of the particulars, as they struck me as vital to the final product and mostly well considered.

i will say this though, about the scene that made it infamous: very hot. gallo is supposedly all vulnerable for exposing himself the way he did. fuck that. he wanted to show that shit off.

Monday, August 30, 2004

mail-order brides

for tim, ben n' pier:


i figured y'all could share one.

(i think this one comes with drums! bonus.)

Friday, August 27, 2004

knockin' you out like rocky balboa

i recently acquired my current obsession in music:

and my decades old obsession in film:

i think i may have some unresolved issues.